Change: An amazing gift

"Nothing is so unchanging, so inevitable as change itself." -Marvin J. Ashton

 

"When we're through changing, we're through." -Bruce Barton

While there were many years where I would have rather started out perfect in my every pursuit, I now love and cherish the changes in my heart and mind that I experience. I love that moment when your eyes are opened and you realize that you were wrong. Why? Because when it comes, despite the fact that I often have to humble myself and apologize to others, I can see both worlds. And in seeing both perspectives, I am better prepared to help others. My vision is expanded.

That is not to say that we should not strive to be our best every day, but rather that we should not be afraid to move forward in life even if we are not guaranteed perfection right away. Sometimes the challenges we face are bigger than our prior experiences and our previous capacities, but as we struggle and persevere, our abilities are strengthened and our understanding is increased. We are able to not just survive, but flourish!

Over the last few years I had some experiences where I felt like others took a snapshot of me, a dynamic and constantly-changing woman. Have we not all made a similar error to some degree or another? I felt like they used this snapshot to judge my past, present, and future. It hurt. Perhaps they did not know me well enough to know my deep commitment to improvement and progression. Maybe they did not know how far I had come and how hard I had worked to achieve that snapshot that they critiqued.

Let's commit ourselves to refrain from doing this to others and instead to understand others in context: as a product of their past with great potential ahead. If others put us in a box and do not allow us to change, let's recognize it for what it is--a misjudgment--and continue progressing in our lives.

We can remember: "The time to make up your mind about someone is never." The same holds for ourselves. If you have something that you know you need to change, change it! That is what I am working toward in 2014, being my best me.

I love you all, friends and family. If I ever fail to give you the opportunity to change, please let me know. I believe in you and I know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all things are possible.

Ways I changed in 2013:

• I accept non-closure regarding race and class disparities in the world. Legacies of injusticies are complicated. While I continue to strive to do my best to make this world more just and to support the under-represented and forgotten of the world, I give up judging the motivations of others. I drop my feelings of prejudice toward and my judgment of those (including myself) who benefit from unfair systems.
• I'm a teacher. I chose this profession. We're underpaid and underappreciated. Asi es. Shoganai. We also have many opportunities to make a meaningful and positive difference in the world. 
• I can now say that I like California, Utah, Idaho, and Texas and the people who live there. I would be willing to live in those states and happy to raise my children in any one of them.
• I cannot change others and I relinquish the desire to. Sometimes others give you the courtesy of explaining their hurtful actions and other times they do not or cannot. I accept that.
• My classroom attitude shifted from resembling: "And there was nothing save it was exceeding harshness, preaching and prophesying of wars, and contentions, and destructions, and continually reminding them of death, and the duration of eternity, and the judgments and the power of God, and all these things--stirring them up continually to keep them in the fear of the Lord. I say there was nothing short of these things, and exceedingly great plainness of speech, would keep them from going down speedily to destruction." to: "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only be persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;"

Questions to consider regarding change in your own life:

• How is change a gift?
• How did you change in 2013?
• Have you ever felt put in a box or that others did not allow you to change? How did you get out of that situation?
• What progress do you look forward to making in 2014?

I would love to read your answers to these questions in the comments below. Happy 2014!

Book Review: The Power of Everyday Missionaries

The Power of Everyday Missionaries is the latest book by Mormon author, businessman, and professor, Clayton Christensen. I read it as part of a book club over a period of three months. In it, Christensen discusses various ways Latter-day Saints can share the gospel with those around them.

Favorite Parts:

• Inspiring true stories. In this book, Christensen shares many true and recent stories about members sharing the gospel. He shares success stories and stories where the success is not immediately evident (I say this because we may not always know the long-term effects of our efforts). I loved that so many of the stories were from his own life. As I read them, I felt like if he had personally experienced so many of those things, the expectation to share my beliefs was something attainable for me.
• Practical, everyday tips. So many of the tips that Christensen offers involve only minor lifestyle changes. If we can make these adjustments (that feel so attainable) we can open the door to greater possibilities for missionary work.
• A good review of the doctrine. Christensen addresses some important points of doctrine and reminds us about the foundations of conversion.
• No excuses given. Christensen does not make excuses for our feears or apprehensions about sharing the gospel. 
• Encouragement to be innovative. We are encouraged to come up with solutions that match the needs of the area where we live. We are reminded of revelation and the fact that we are stewards over our own lives (and for church leaders, our own areas) and can be guided to help people come unto Christ in new and innovative ways. 

Who this book is for:
This book is for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who have testimonies of Christ and want to share it with others. It would be good for returned-missionaries and those who have not served a mission. I especially recommend it for those who have a strong desire to be better missionaries but are scared to share their beliefs or are stuck on trying to figure out more ideas about how to be member missionaries.

Excerpts:
After sharing several examples of church units that were able to build a successful missionary program, Christensen writes:

"Each of these members and leaders were entrepreneurs in Zion. They rightly assumed that the power was in their hands to bring to pass much righteousness... The programs of the Church are designed to leave room for a great deal of individual initiative and personal guidance."

To learn more about the book, please visit the website www.everydaymissionaries.org

Calling All Good Family History Stories

"Family history is a powerful resource to us in finding those whom the Lord is preparing to receive the restored gospel. Pray to be aware of opportunities to use family history in your finding efforts. People typically have spiritual feelings as they  talk about families. People also feel the Spirit as they are taught about the doctrine concerning why we do family history work. In addition, convert retention is enhanced as new members are able to search their family roots and perform sacred ordinances in behalf of their ancestors."

Preach My Gospel, pg. 165

In my mission packet, one of the things I am asked to bring is a few stories about my ancestors. Page 164 of Preach My Gospel talks about sharing the gospel using family history work. It reads, "You do not need to know very much about family history to offer this service..." Luckily I love family history and am very excited to work with the family history libraries in Seattle if that is needed. So Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa (and other family members), have any good family history stories?

Seeing the End from the Beginning

"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace."

Spencer W. Kimball

"Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me."

Every time I sing these words, I am lead to question the sincerity with which I profess to desire to walk down uncertain paths. A good friend once observed that often times we prefer the certain path to the right path.

Sometimes I am surprised to hear someone speak in absolutely certain terms about a decision they have made about an important aspect of life that will not occur for months or years. I know, often times we talk about things in certain terms to avoid sounding shiftless.

But I wonder, should we? Or if we do talk about things in absolutely certain terms, should we also think about them unflinchingly? Or rather, should we think and talk about our lives in terms of the next step instead of the "distant scene" as is expressed in Lead, Kindly Light.

When the thought occurred to me (after I had taken the LSAT) that law school might not be the next step for me I was at first incredulous and disappointed. How could I have spent hundreds of hours preparing for something that would not lead to the originally desired outcome?

But then I realized that I was not prompted to be a lawyer, nor to go to law school, nor to apply for law school, but to prepare for law school.

Preparing for law school has provided a richness to my life and my education that has been unparalleled. It filled me with a renewed desired to apply myself to academics and to serve those around me which eventually lead me to intern in Washington, DC, an experience that forever changed my life.

I look forward to all that God has in store for me and all of those I love. Until I see the end, I will continue to make myself available for His wonderful blessings!

"I loved to choose and see my path; but now, Lead thou me on!"

Dating Styles of Prospective Sister Missionaries

Before I received my mission call I believed that the notion that dating patterns change for women after receiving a mission call was false. However, after I submitted my mission papers I started to be asked on dates more often. And I really couldn’t figure out why.

For one of my classes, we read an article on the dating patterns of Return Missionaries (RMs) at BYU. But I wonder what the dating patterns of women who are preparing to serve missions are. This has lead me to create my own list of possible pre-sister missionary dating styles that need to be qualitatively researched. They are:

· Fill the Canteen: Women in this category are looking to have non-committal fun before they serve. Their relationships might be characterized by more physical affection. These women probably also date often.

· Stay Away: These women avoid dating at all costs. They are preparing to serve a mission and do not want to have a relationship that might prevent them from serving or distract them from their preparation.

· Whatever: An outside observer might not know that women in this category are planning to serve a mission. This woman would not make any changes to her dating pattern, but continue with whatever style she was previously. She seems to be thinking that whatever happens, happens.

· Friendship: This woman continues to date, but instead of looking for romantic relationships, she focuses on developing friendships with men. She might be looking to improve her dating skills so that she can use them when she returns or she may be looking to create a base of friends that might be potential dating candidates when she returns.

· Desperate: This woman might have only submitted her mission papers because she wasn’t dating anyone. She is looking for any excuse to date and marry so she does not have to serve. She might also have felt pressured from her family to serve.

· New Woman: This is the woman who, upon submitting her mission papers, feels a new sense of freedom from fear of rejection. Rejection does not seem to affect her as much because she has an attractive alternative. When she sees a potential relationship beginning to form she may feel that it’s now or never.

· Love ‘em and Leave ‘em: This woman continues to seek and form committed relationships. She may do this because she wants someone to be there when she gets back or she might want someone to write her throughout her mission. In contrast to the Desperate dating style, she still plans to leave her partner to serve a mission.

What would be the characteristics of women in each category? Would one consist of women who are planning to serve and have not dated much and another consist of women who are serving despite the availability of many opportunities for marriage? Only quality qualitative research will tell.

Where in the World is Andrea Going?

I meet with the Stake President at 7 pm this Sunday to submit my mission papers. Add your comment to this message to make your guesses for where I will be called to serve!

Mission update

For all those who are wondering, I met with the bishop today regarding my mission papers. My doctor and dentist exams are in the next few weeks and I am sending in my application for a passport this week. I talked with the sister missionaries today and hopefully I will be able to go out on splits with them in the near future. They said they will let me teach. :-) I am looking forward to serving!