Joy

Today I sat in the car crying with my forehead buried in the steering wheel. I had just read a text message about my grandmother's rapidly declining health.

Despite having a deep belief in eternal families and knowing that I will see her again, I am still sad to lose my grandmother and sad to hear of all the pain she is experiencing.

As I was crying I realized that my grandmother left me a wonderful gift--The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I had just left the temple where the older sisters there had built me up, given me tips about how to make Hawaiian haystacks for a ward activity, shared how they overcame the grief of losing spouses, and invited me to dine in their homes.These sisters will never replace my grandmother, but in a way act as surrogate grandmothers and examples for me.

Thank you, grandma, for passing on your love for Jesus Christ and those around you. Thank you for showing me how to be strong when things are difficult. Thank you for believing in me.

Thank you for teaching me what it means to be a Joy.

{For an inspiring, hopeful treatment of death, please read this talk titled "He is Risen!" by President Thomas S. Monson.}

Carried by the Covenant

Have you ever been deeply spiritually moved by a piece of artwork? It's happened to me only a few times. Shown below is a painting that was exhibited in the Museum of Church History and Art a few years ago.

The light seems to be of divine origin. The way that it falls on the mother's back shows impelling power of the light of the covenant.

The simple background does not distract from the central subject matter.

The look of determination of determination in the mother's eyes is piercing.

The mother and child have red and blue scarves, symbolic of their divine heritage and their royal potential if they are true to their covenants.

Joseph F. Brickey, Carried by the Covenant. Prints can be purchased here.

Yesterday I read a General Conference talk by Elder Bednar, "Honorably Hold a Name and Standing."

"What was it that gave those early Saints such strength? It was the fire of the temple covenant that burned in their hearts. It was their commitment to worship and honorably hold a name and standing in the house of the Lord

"We do now and will yet face great challenges to the work of the Lord. But like the pioneers who found the place which God for them prepared, so we will fresh courage take, knowing our God will never us forsake (see "Come, Come, Ye Saints," Hymns, no. 30)."

That is why this painting is powerful.

Mi Casa es su Casa

It has been a long day so this post is like therapy for me. Enjoy!

On Friday night I was able to go to the 138th Ward Family Reunion. It was so nice to visit with old friends and their families. Seeing my former bishop reminded me of all the ways I grew in his ward and what I learned from him. This post is a compilation of all the things that made Bishop so great!

This is a picture of some of us with the bishop at a temple trip in 2007.



This is me with the Crosbys at the Reunion. I was able to work closely with Sister Crosby in Relief Society. She was our trainer and go-to woman extraordinaire. The reunion was at their home and I love visiting them!


John will tell you that this is a typical Andrea pose. "John, you better not take the picture until we're ready."


This is my former roommate Emily. I miss her.


Bishop memorized everyone's name before they moved into the ward. I remember on my first day he asked my name and when I told him Andrea he said, "You know Jackie in the ward." He never forgot it. I also heard that when he was called to be bishop he received a copy of the ward directory before being sustained. On his first Sunday in the ward, he stood at the front of the room and knew every ward member's name. Crazy!

Bishop made it clear that we were a family ward, not a singles ward. He thought the term "singles ward" was ridiculous so he made it very clear that we were a ward family and that we were to take care of each other.

Bishop taught about Christ. Our ward theme was Come Unto Christ and it was regularly referred to in meetings, lessons and other interactions. I always remember having a testimony of Christ, but Bishop's unapologetic emphasis and lived example made the Atonement of Jesus Christ a more vivid reality for me.

Bishop's favorite hymn was Press Forward Saints. Whenever we sang it, we all had to stand. I've never seen someone sing with such gusto.

Bishop was always looking for teaching opportunities. Sometimes I would be talking to Bishop at an activity and our conversation would remind him of something so he would find the scriptures and teach me a principle. On Friday, Bishop pulled me aside and taught me something out of 3 Nephi that perfectly matched what I needed to hear.

Bishop calls us his sons and daughters. At an enrichment activity Bishop told us something that has affected my behavior ever since. He told us that some women slow down for a man that they like, but that was not the correct way. He told us as his daughters to go forward in life as fast as we had strength and to wait for a man to see us pass by and think that he wanted to work to catch up with us. He told us that's what he loved about his wife... and he meant it.

Bishop didn't knock. And neither did anyone else in the ward. Because we were a family, there was an open door policy. He also told us if there was going to be any kissing to lock the door because no one wants to walk in on that. Once a couple in the ward did not take that counsel and it was super awkward for me! :D

Bishop baptized the whole ward on temple trips. It didn't matter how many sisters there were; he baptized every single one. (My arms hurt just thinking about it). He also bought us all dessert in the temple cafeteria. Mmmm...

Bishop fed us. We went up to Bishop's house a few times a month and there was always plenty of food. He didn't lock the door to his house and told us this with an invitation to come over anytime and to make sure we didn't knock. Some people really took him up on this.

Bishop random digit dialed. All of the apartments in the complex started with the same eight digits and then had two digit extensions. When there was a pressing need in the ward, he would randomly mix up the last two numbers and ask whoever answered the phone to take care of the need.

Bishop tried to get us 7 am church. When faced with the dreadful 1:30 pm church, Bishop tried his hardest to bargain for 7 am church. The stake said no one would come. Bishop thought otherwise but was vetoed.

Bishop loves to tell stories. My favorite was when he got fired as a bus driver.

Bishop was slightly intrusive. From the beginning Bishop acted like a good friend. At first it was hard for me as a closed-off Minnesotan to accept. But once I realized that he was genuine I started to feel comfortable. Because he asked the hard questions, I feel like Bishop really knows who I am.

Bishop interviewed like crazy. His last week of being bishop he interviewed everyone in the ward. Seriously.

When I run into someone who was in that ward I feel like I'm seeing family. My last week in DC, a friend from the 138th ward, Hugh, moved into my DC ward. It was a happy reunion!

I am certain I will never again meet someone quite like Bishop. What a blessing to have learned from him!

The Meanest Mom

My friend Amy recently introduced me to a The Meanest Mom Blog. She is a 32-year-old LDS mother of four who lives in Philadelphia. It makes me laugh. Probably because I know that one day I, too, will be the meanest mom.

"Yes, you do need to do your homework before you can play with your friends."

"No, sweetheart, we are not having ice cream for breakfast."

Cruel.

Check it out!

What Every Relief Society President Should Know

In honor of the General Relief Society Meeting tonight, I thought I would share some of the things that I learned from serving in the Relief Society last summer. I created this list to pass on to the next president who happened to by my roommate Lynne! This calling allowed me to grow in ways I never thought possible and continues to bless my life now. Many of the principles in this list apply to all aspects of list. Pictures of sisters from our Relief Society this summer are scattered throughout.

Advice (hopefully good advice) for serving as Relief Society President

August 10, 2008

Focus on Jesus Christ.

Read the Relief Society Handbook.

Follow the bishop.

Prepare for Welfare meetings by reviewing the sisters in your Relief Society and their needs.

Focus on individuals, in your personal ministry and in discussions in presidency meetings.

Sister Beck said in the last General Relief Society Broadcast to focus on relief and sociality will happen in your

Relief Society, it does not necessarily work the other way around. I found this to be good advice.

Enrichment is so important and is one of the ways that you can meet the needs of the sisters in your Relief Society. Invite the enrichment leader to presidency meetings occasionally so she can counsel with you on the needs that can be met through enrichment.

Come up with a theme or guiding principle with your presidency. This will help you to grow together and will help the sisters to remember the important principles you will try to emphasize. It will also help your Relief Society to be unified.

**At the beginning of the semester, have presidency visits. This is a good way to introduce yourself to the sisters in your Relief Society and to get to know them.

**Call the sisters before they move in and introduce yourself and offer to help them with moving in or rides from the airport if they need it.

Learn what you can about Relief Society and its purpose and history. Your Relief Society is but one branch of a much larger society with a unique and rich history. Understanding the broader mission, purpose, history and direction of Relief Society will help you to serve within it.

We sang a song in sacrament together as a Relief Society and I thought it was a good unifying activity and also let sisters that would not usually participate in something like that to try something new. We practiced the hymn during our music moment each week.

Try to prepare the agendas for Relief Society (prayers, songs, etc.) before you arrive at Relief Society. This allows you to be more calm and reverent at the beginning of the meeting.

I would have fewer announcements at the beginning of Relief Society and I would ask my counselors and secretary to arrive early to Relief Society so you can start on time. With fewer announcements there is more time for the lesson which is the most important part of Relief Society meetings (in my opinion).

Be friends and grow close as a presidency. Look out for each other. As a president, lean on your counselors and the other presidents for support. Try not to let yourself or your counselors get burnt out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Use your home and visiting teachers.

I would have liked to work with the Elders Quorum more to meet the needs of the sisters. Make sure you let the Elders Quorum President know about any sisters that may need especially faithful home teachers.

**Encourage your counselors to try to interview every sister each month. This will help you all to be more in tune with the needs of the sisters and will remind them of their assignment to visit teach.

Visiting teaching is the foundation of Relief Society. I would have liked to have used my visiting teachers more to meet the needs of sisters.

Have agendas for all presidency meetings. I liked the pattern of going through and allowing each member of the presidency to present her business. Encourage everyone to come to the meeting prepared to report and share something at the meeting.

INTERVIEWS

• Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions in the interviews, sometimes the only way a sister will tell you about something that is troubling her and needs to be resolved is if you directly ask her.
• The new sisters especially probably will not open up to you on the first visit, but they still have needs that you can meet. Keep working to get to know them better. You will find as time progresses that they will be more open with you when they sense your genuine love for them, but it takes time to develop.
• You may want to ask the sisters to share their testimony or a favorite scripture with you. This is a good way to get to know them better and for you to get a feel for their personality and how you can help them.
• Interviews are a chance for you to assess the spiritual and temporal needs of the sisters in your Relief Society. Part of the responsibility of the president is to help meet the physical needs of the sisters in your Relief Society, through the Church welfare system if necessary. Let every sister know that you are there to help them if they need help
• **Try to interview all of the sisters in the first month. This will help you for the rest of the semester because you will be able to know each sister individually and personally. You can also assess the needs of sisters and know who you need to interview more often.

**Pray for each sister individually every day. This will help you to feel a connection with your sisters and will encourage you to get to know every sister individually so you know what to pray for. It may be difficult at first, but as the semester progresses and you get to know each sister better; you will know what to pray for. This will also help God to work through you by prompting you on how you can best meet the needs of sisters that you otherwise may not have been aware of.

**The stake encourages us to spend thirty minutes a day on our calling. This might involve just stopping by to say hi, preparing for a lesson, praying for each sister or rearranging visiting teaching. Your obedience to this counsel from the stake will greatly bless the sister in your Relief Society.

What you do in the time when you are not officially acting in your calling can really help set the tone for your Relief Society. Just stopping by to say hello for no official reason or stopping to talk with sisters will help them open up to you.

SECRETARY

• Use your secretary! Secretaries are one of the greatest assets in your presidency. Make sure that the person you call is very responsible and dependable and has a love for the sisters.
• The secretary can do more than just the monthly report. She can help you set-up interviews, prepare agendas for presidency meetings, report in presidency meetings on patterns she is noticing in visiting teaching and in Relief Society attendance, and do other things as needed.

Find joy and satisfaction in service. You are called of God and are qualified to the work. Heavenly Father loves his daughters and despite any weaknesses you may feel that you have, he can and will meet their needs through you. You will do a wonderful job and grow in ways you never thought possible. Work hard and give your all so you can look back on this as one of the most fulfilling and joyful experiences of your life. You will be great!

**Advice specifically applies to serving in a Student Ward or in the BYU 15^th Stake

Daughter, Sister, Friend, Woman

The visiting teaching message this month is about the divine role of women. As I've been preparing my message, it's given me time to think about my role as a woman, especially as a woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This has lead me on a trail of studying several chapters from books like Go Forward With Faith, Covenant Hearts, A Quiet Heart, The Belonging Heart, Teachings of the Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, and Strengthening Our Families. Each of the chapters or addresses I looked at dealt with different aspects of the divine and eternal roles that women fulfill.

Last week, I had a good discussion with my friends Lynne and Justin about finances (especially starting to invest money and build credit). The conversation brought up the point that even though I don't have much money right now, I want to gain experience managing my finances so I can truly be an equal partner in my marriage. I believe that if I put in the effort now, I will have more to offer to my future husband and family, making our combined efforts even greater (hooray for synergy!).

In the gospel, married couples are seen as one (Genesis 2:24). The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that in family roles, men and women are "obligated to help one another as equal partners." Exaltation, the ultimate goal of existence, is not eternal life, but eternal lives, sealed together as husband and wife (D&C 132:24). At the October 2008 General Conference, Elder Nelson commented on this when he said, "In God's eternal plan, ... exaltation is a family matter. (Salvation and Exaltation, November 2008 Ensign)"

Equal partnership is not ensuring that each partner does the exact same work; it is more than keeping score. One of my favorite stories of equal partnership is about Elder Neal A. Maxwell and comes from an article in the Ensign by Elder and Sister Hafen:

"Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said that for too long in the Church, the men have been the theologians while the women have been the Christians. To be equal partners, each should be both a theologian and a Christian.

"When Elder Maxwell learned in 1996 that he had leukemia, the diagnosis was discouraging. He had worked for years on making himself “willing to submit” (Mosiah 3:19) to the Lord’s will. If it was time to face death, he didn’t want to shrink from drinking his bitter cup.

"But his wife, Colleen, thought he was too willing to yield. With loving directness, she said that Christ Himself earnestly pleaded first, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” Only then did He submit Himself, saying, “Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matthew 26:39). Elder Maxwell saw his wife’s doctrinal insight and agreed. As a result, they pleaded together that his life might be spared. Motivated by their determination, Elder Maxwell’s doctor found a new medical treatment that prolonged his life for several years. Elder Maxwell was grateful that he was not the only theologian in their marriage. (Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners, August 2007 Ensign)"

The prophet Joseph Smith helped to set the tone for women in the Church. In 1842 he organized the Relief Society, and his relationship with Emma exemplified equal partnership. Doctrine and Covenants section 25 is a revelation given to Emma. Verse five reads, "And the office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto... thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness." While verse nine says, "And thou needest not fear, for thy husband shall support thee in the church... (emphasis added)" Emma and Joseph were equal partners, they comforted and supported each other throughout life.

One of the beauties of the gospel is that the divinity of women and motherhood does not in any way lessen the divinity of men and the priesthood. Rather, they come together to make a perfect and complete whole that neither could attain individually. I was reminded of this on a plane ride a few months ago when, after hearing that I was not dating anyone, the woman next to me made a disparaging comment about men. I quickly felt the need to clarify that even though I was single, I knew many good and honorable men.

I am grateful for the status of women in the Church. In no other place do I feel more respected and more empowered to do good.