Daughter, Sister, Friend, Woman

The visiting teaching message this month is about the divine role of women. As I've been preparing my message, it's given me time to think about my role as a woman, especially as a woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This has lead me on a trail of studying several chapters from books like Go Forward With Faith, Covenant Hearts, A Quiet Heart, The Belonging Heart, Teachings of the Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, and Strengthening Our Families. Each of the chapters or addresses I looked at dealt with different aspects of the divine and eternal roles that women fulfill.

Last week, I had a good discussion with my friends Lynne and Justin about finances (especially starting to invest money and build credit). The conversation brought up the point that even though I don't have much money right now, I want to gain experience managing my finances so I can truly be an equal partner in my marriage. I believe that if I put in the effort now, I will have more to offer to my future husband and family, making our combined efforts even greater (hooray for synergy!).

In the gospel, married couples are seen as one (Genesis 2:24). The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that in family roles, men and women are "obligated to help one another as equal partners." Exaltation, the ultimate goal of existence, is not eternal life, but eternal lives, sealed together as husband and wife (D&C 132:24). At the October 2008 General Conference, Elder Nelson commented on this when he said, "In God's eternal plan, ... exaltation is a family matter. (Salvation and Exaltation, November 2008 Ensign)"

Equal partnership is not ensuring that each partner does the exact same work; it is more than keeping score. One of my favorite stories of equal partnership is about Elder Neal A. Maxwell and comes from an article in the Ensign by Elder and Sister Hafen:

"Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said that for too long in the Church, the men have been the theologians while the women have been the Christians. To be equal partners, each should be both a theologian and a Christian.

"When Elder Maxwell learned in 1996 that he had leukemia, the diagnosis was discouraging. He had worked for years on making himself “willing to submit” (Mosiah 3:19) to the Lord’s will. If it was time to face death, he didn’t want to shrink from drinking his bitter cup.

"But his wife, Colleen, thought he was too willing to yield. With loving directness, she said that Christ Himself earnestly pleaded first, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” Only then did He submit Himself, saying, “Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matthew 26:39). Elder Maxwell saw his wife’s doctrinal insight and agreed. As a result, they pleaded together that his life might be spared. Motivated by their determination, Elder Maxwell’s doctor found a new medical treatment that prolonged his life for several years. Elder Maxwell was grateful that he was not the only theologian in their marriage. (Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners, August 2007 Ensign)"

The prophet Joseph Smith helped to set the tone for women in the Church. In 1842 he organized the Relief Society, and his relationship with Emma exemplified equal partnership. Doctrine and Covenants section 25 is a revelation given to Emma. Verse five reads, "And the office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto... thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness." While verse nine says, "And thou needest not fear, for thy husband shall support thee in the church... (emphasis added)" Emma and Joseph were equal partners, they comforted and supported each other throughout life.

One of the beauties of the gospel is that the divinity of women and motherhood does not in any way lessen the divinity of men and the priesthood. Rather, they come together to make a perfect and complete whole that neither could attain individually. I was reminded of this on a plane ride a few months ago when, after hearing that I was not dating anyone, the woman next to me made a disparaging comment about men. I quickly felt the need to clarify that even though I was single, I knew many good and honorable men.

I am grateful for the status of women in the Church. In no other place do I feel more respected and more empowered to do good.