Dating Styles of Prospective Sister Missionaries

Before I received my mission call I believed that the notion that dating patterns change for women after receiving a mission call was false. However, after I submitted my mission papers I started to be asked on dates more often. And I really couldn’t figure out why.

For one of my classes, we read an article on the dating patterns of Return Missionaries (RMs) at BYU. But I wonder what the dating patterns of women who are preparing to serve missions are. This has lead me to create my own list of possible pre-sister missionary dating styles that need to be qualitatively researched. They are:

· Fill the Canteen: Women in this category are looking to have non-committal fun before they serve. Their relationships might be characterized by more physical affection. These women probably also date often.

· Stay Away: These women avoid dating at all costs. They are preparing to serve a mission and do not want to have a relationship that might prevent them from serving or distract them from their preparation.

· Whatever: An outside observer might not know that women in this category are planning to serve a mission. This woman would not make any changes to her dating pattern, but continue with whatever style she was previously. She seems to be thinking that whatever happens, happens.

· Friendship: This woman continues to date, but instead of looking for romantic relationships, she focuses on developing friendships with men. She might be looking to improve her dating skills so that she can use them when she returns or she may be looking to create a base of friends that might be potential dating candidates when she returns.

· Desperate: This woman might have only submitted her mission papers because she wasn’t dating anyone. She is looking for any excuse to date and marry so she does not have to serve. She might also have felt pressured from her family to serve.

· New Woman: This is the woman who, upon submitting her mission papers, feels a new sense of freedom from fear of rejection. Rejection does not seem to affect her as much because she has an attractive alternative. When she sees a potential relationship beginning to form she may feel that it’s now or never.

· Love ‘em and Leave ‘em: This woman continues to seek and form committed relationships. She may do this because she wants someone to be there when she gets back or she might want someone to write her throughout her mission. In contrast to the Desperate dating style, she still plans to leave her partner to serve a mission.

What would be the characteristics of women in each category? Would one consist of women who are planning to serve and have not dated much and another consist of women who are serving despite the availability of many opportunities for marriage? Only quality qualitative research will tell.